What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

As a teacher, what's the most inappropriate experience you've had with a student?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do atheists want to see God so badly?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What if Supergirl was a baby and not a teenager when she left Krypton? Who do you think will find her? What do you think things would be like?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Isn't it unfortunate for the Democrats that we Republicans are the masters of the universe who control everything while the Democrats control nothing?

TEXT:

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

If Iran’s Oil Is Cut Off, China Will Pay the Price - WSJ

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why do people smoke?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What's an uncomfortable truth you've learned to accept?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What was the most inappropriate thing your parent caught you doing as a teen? Was in the bedroom, I thought nobody else was home. My sister and I shared that bedroom but I knew she was gone. I didn’t know my dad was home though.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are some cool confidence hacks?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!